Yes, sometimes one is angry and sometimes one is jealous and sometimes one is in a fighting mood, but these are human limitations — accept them. And if you know your human limitations, you will be able to forgive him too, because he also has human limitations.
Then you don’t ask for perfection. And when he accepts his limitations, he will understand your limitations.
Being true always helps one to be more compassionate towards the other. Perfectionists are never compassionate — they cannot have any compassion. If they cannot have compassion on themselves, how can they have compassion on others?
For example, if you see a beautiful man passing by and suddenly you feel sexually interested in him, what are you going to do with this idea that has arisen? Will you tell [the partner], or will you just drop it and not look at it again? If you don’t look at it again, if you repress it, you will forget about it. Then one day you find [him] looking at a beautiful woman: now you are very angry.
If you had accepted your own desire, you would have had much compassion on him.
You would have seen the fact that ‘Yes, the same has happened to me too, so nothing is wrong in it — it is human!’ Then there would be compassion, and out of compassion, understanding.
Seeing oneself, one sees the whole humanity.
And I am not teaching you here to become saints — no, not at all. I am here trying to teach you to be real human beings with all the limitations, frailties — so that you can have compassion for the other.
And in that understanding and compassion grows love.
So just be alert about your realities, express your realities to the other. Don’t try to hide — there is nothing to hide.
Two lovers, if they have privacy, are not really lovers. Lovers should not have any secrets — there is no need.